Mental Illness

[Sam_Boss260]

Originally Posted by blueoval

My wife is always good at listening to me whinge. She often has an alternate view of things. But I need to speak to somebody more neutral than that who doesn't have an emotional interest in what goes on.

Yeah, I agree. They are too emotionally involved in your situation. Plus, given what we are going through, if I start unloading these issues on my wife, it is probably only going to add to her stress and what is on her plate right now. So I feel like I'm in limbo, and that makes it quite hard.

Someone more neutral is the key here. Someone who can provide perspective and like I said, arm you with tools to handle the stress of what you are going through.

[Ross 1]

As Sam_Boss260 mentioned a different perspective and tools to handle the situation. I had half a dozen sessions with a counsellor, didn't want a doctor as I didn't want the first option to be medication, she taught me how to recognise what was causing the anxiety and how to tell when an attack was on its way. Then how to rationalise the situation and deal with it, without having to alter how I want to live my life. As men we like to think we can handle everything on our plate, with the outside perspective on the problems it is easier to see and accept we try to balance too much. It is ok to ask for help or just say no to somethings in life.

[nuthin' fancy]

Originally Posted by blueoval

Thanks for the assistance.

Work is less stressful than it used to be, however meeting a high expectation and maintaining it is still hard and often gets me down because I feel Im not doing enough. But not the point it cripples me. It's just a worry in the back of my mind. I have plenty of work, just need to get it done and do it well.

Had a family member die a month or so back. Didn't know him well, but new him from my wifes side. It took more of an impact on her and her family than it did me personally. But Im not sure if subconsciously I was affected by it as I did not grieve at his funeral like others.

My mum has a brain tumor which is currently benign but she chooses not to seek chemo to get it treated. Again, another concern which I do not have power over. I often wonder if I will be getting that dreaded phone call in the middle of the night with news of her passing.

My dad is getting older and he lives in the sticks hours away from the nearest relative and I worry about his well being because he can't move the way he used to. (my parents are divorced)

I have my wifes invalid parents living with me also which adds to the anxiety. They need help and we have been doing our best to help as best we can.

I also have some other personal problems which I won't go into that concerns me as well.

I love riding. Always have. But whenever my mate asks me to join him, I feel like I need to perform. He is a better rider than me. But I find whenever I ride with him it's got to be at 95% capacity. It's not him that places those expectations, it's me that feels like I need to. I've told myself just ride for the enjoyment of it. But it's hard with people who you know are just better at doing things than you are. I tend to try and compare which I shouldn't but it's hard not to, and then when I fall short, I beat myself up for it. Probably part of the reason why I bail out of those things with him.

That's a basic run down of whats going on in my life right now.

Blueoval, your plate is gradually filling up, feeling unsettled is a pretty normal response.

Talking to a professional will do no harm, coping strategies could help a lot.

Good luck.

[Road Games]

My own experience's since Christmas ?

I stopped taking anti-depressants

I cut down on the grog

I cut down on the sugary foods that i loved soooo much and i became much more active ...


Will i ever be like everyone else ?

I bloody well hope not

I am unique, a little bit special but unique none the less...




Hang in there guys you are not alone

Daz...x...

[supershifty]

Shav, I'll focus on the point about competiveness, as others have mentioned - maybe don't worry about what others can do better than you. Sounds like you have a competitive nature, that's all good, but don't see it as a shortcoming.

I'm not like that so it's easy for me to say.

I concentrate on bettering my personal best, I don't bother myself with what others can do better than me. I just try to do my best. Like, I'm bloody hopeless at golf but I like to get out there and belt the **** out of the ball no matter where it lands - it's all about having a go for me.

Cheers!

[Lotte]

For those of you concerned about dumping on your partner etc, perhaps take your partner to a counselling session?
We all have crap to deal with, and if you don't want to add to their stress, I totally understand (it's why I bottle half my **** up and let it fester), but the dual session once in awhile can be super helpful. And vice versa if they're seeing a counsellor as well/as opposed to you.

I just lost my guinea pig after several days of intensive caring. So I've gone into a massive black hole and I'm distracting myself here....

[my_gxl]

From my own internal knowledge of mental issues, and all the 'training' I have done, the first thing I know for certain, is that if you aren't qualified, you can't/shouldn't try to assist someone yourself.

Listen always, but refer them to professionals.

Its too easy to give someone a bum steer.

[damo76]

Anti depression and talking with so called proffessionals that pretend to understand but are looking at the clock doesn't help. What helps is you have to get out in the world and change it to what you want. Because it is often life crap and working everyday being another robot or number knowing there has to be something more out there but what....
That's how you get depression because life is meaningless, i'm 38 and still don't know what i want to do with my life but the biggest thing that has helped is i went ahead and got my motorbike license and know i am meeting people on rides which i do live life on the edge but i enjoy it.
You have to watch as that own little world can be a very tranquil place. I used to go there a lot.

[danzvtil]

Originally Posted by danzvtil

I feel that as a nation we at a tipping point in awareness of mental illness and the ability to openly talk about it in the workplace, at the pub or where ever.
My moment of realization was years ago when Jeff Kennett became the spokes person for Beyond Blue. This pig headed, face only a mother could love ex politician, blokes bloke was on the teev and radio talking about mental health!
Now we are talking about it here without judgement, sharing experiences letting our friends know who are at the end of their wits that there IS light at the end of the tunnel and it is achievable.
We are all part of the much needed culture change!

Gday all
The industry I work in is holding a Garden RELEAF event nationally next weekend.
With the therapeutic advantages of some "down" time in the garden, garden centres are having a blue themed weekend, raising awareness and funds for Beyond Blue.
I think this is yet another great initiative to normalize the discussion around mental health in Australia.
So, if ya hear Jeff Kennett on the radio or see his mug on the teev next weekend, youll know why



http://gardenreleaf.com.au/

garden RELEAF weekend, which will be held on the weekend of March 7-8 2015, will see Independent Garden Centres around Australia running fun and informative events to encourage people to get into the garden and get planting. As gardening is good for both physical and mental health, we have chosen to use the weekend to support beyondblue so it will be a weekend themed around ‘Something Blue’.