[Bossxr8]

Originally Posted by Burnedout

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry...

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what ever you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot.

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate.

I'll be ready in a minute = I'll be ages but do NOT put the TV back on.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead,]

MEN'S ENGLISH

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others.
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Never a truer word spoken.